Google wished me a happy birthday today, as did over 200 Facebook friends.
It's terrible to say, but I can't remember the last time I was happy.
Not that I'm unhappy, but I'm sad. I'm always sad. I just wish I could find my center for happy.
Did I have a good birthday? No. I wanted to go to AC overnight by myself so I could do whatever I wanted. I'd come home Friday, and Jack would take me to dinner for my birthday, because I took him out for his birthday.
Well, no.
Because Jack and both boys already committed to do something that night, and Jack thought it would be a cool way to spend my birthday -- sitting on my butt watching those three play music. Then he comes home and goes to bed.
How's that for a happy birthday?
And this after he ruined my AC holiday by yelling at me because I spent time with some friends before he made it down there and didn't feel like eating dinner. He actually told me he felt like turning around and going home because he didn't see any point in being there. So I've been crying since Thursday night.
I even had planned to go to the gym while he was playing, but he said, "But we'll all be there and it's your birthday." Some little tiny tiny ember thought maybe I was being set up for a surprise party somewhere. But no. I came home, and waited, and he finally got home, with far too much red wine in him.
Just once I'd like someone to do something thoughtful for me. Maybe that someone should be me.
Did I have a good birthday? No. I wanted to go to AC overnight by myself so I could do whatever I wanted. I'd come home Friday, and Jack would take me to dinner for my birthday, because I took him out for his birthday.
Well, no.
Because Jack and both boys already committed to do something that night, and Jack thought it would be a cool way to spend my birthday -- sitting on my butt watching those three play music. Then he comes home and goes to bed.
How's that for a happy birthday?
And this after he ruined my AC holiday by yelling at me because I spent time with some friends before he made it down there and didn't feel like eating dinner. He actually told me he felt like turning around and going home because he didn't see any point in being there. So I've been crying since Thursday night.
I even had planned to go to the gym while he was playing, but he said, "But we'll all be there and it's your birthday." Some little tiny tiny ember thought maybe I was being set up for a surprise party somewhere. But no. I came home, and waited, and he finally got home, with far too much red wine in him.
Just once I'd like someone to do something thoughtful for me. Maybe that someone should be me.
