Scary Times

 Jack came home  from band on June 24 complaining his leg ached. When he took off his pants, he saw that his leg was utterly ballooned and solid as a rock.

He went to the ER the next morning and luckily there was no wait. Within 20 minutes he was getting an ultrasound that showed a blood clot the entire length of his leg, from groin to ankle.

If he had waited any longer, he'd likely have died.

I was terrified. I couldn't seem to grasp that nothing to be done about removing it or clearing it. Instead, they put him on a blood thinner to send the blocked blood elsewhere, giving his body time to clear away the clot itself, turning it to scar tissue. 

I just don't see how that works. But it's now three weeks later, and the swelling is finally almost gone. He wears a compression stocking to keep the blood flowing into the side vessels. He's getting around fine with little ache. So it doesn't matter whether I see how it works, so long as it works.

I've been frazzled for the month of July. First, Jack's brass band concert got rain-dated to the following night, July 3, which is when Vagabonds were parading, and Jack was the melody maker. I filled in for him, but the parade got rain-delayed until 8 pm, long past my bedtime. On Sunday, we spent the day with Jesse, Liz, and Eliana, so I had no recovery time before July 5, when I paraded solo in the Haddonfield parade. That afternoon was a pool party at Buddy's. Then the following Saturday was another parade followed by Eliana's 3rd birthday party. Sunday was BSGK rehearsal, and Monday I crashed so hard, I took three naps across the day, and another nap yesterday.

The results of which are that I have my days and nights mixed up, like a baby.

The bathroom is stalled (heh. Get it?) again. The shower curtain rod and safety grip still have not arrived, and we are awaiting the delivery of the medicine cabinet. When everything finally arrives, they will then have to tear out the vanity to find our heating / ac duct and install a vent that isn't covered by the vanity, and then reinstall the vanity so it's not crooked.

Meanwhile, an interesting and humbling honor has been bestowed on me: I'm being put forward for entry into the NJ drum corps hall of fame. Dale and Jimmy Russo and Carol Pennisi Terreri are sponsoring me. Dale told me this in Wildwood last month, but it looks like it's happening. And since I'm the only woman being put forward, there's a good chance I'll be accepted this year. 

Still no word on the novel publication, but I have been selected to read at Noir at the Bar, which is a prestigious reading at the Creatures, Crime, and Creativity Con in September. I'm thrilled! Carol Gyzander and I will be roomies for that.

We're also going to roomy with Sally Grotta for the world con in December. Very cool! So good things are coming my way. I hope I'm up for them!

June Came Upon Us Much Too Soon

 The back yard was full of people for the Deal Summer Celebration 2021. Folks from drum corps, church, the neighborhood, Magic, adopted family, kids and grandkids, my writers group, high school... So many! It was wonderful.

Wendy is asking me to edit another ms to make her look good again. Hmm. No name, but I get paid.

Our bathroom STILL isn't finished. Because the guy works with no designs, we didn't get an outlet in for our bidet, so now Jack has to go digging for wires in the walls. Parts haven't yet been delivered. At least, however, we can shower and use the toilet.

I'm in the midst of editing Book 3, filling out the dialogue with passion and ponderances.

I'm also trying to shift my sleep schedule from 8-4 to 10-6. We'll see how that goes.

Things Are Going Nuts

 It's official: I'm a writer / freelance editor.

Wendy had a ms. she was worn out working on, so she subcontracted me for the final copy edit. $200. Nice. To do that, I had to create a professional LinkedIn page, and I got endorsed.

Dani had me create a new website and a professional blog. efdeal.net and efdeal.blogspot.com. And they're beginning to get hits and comments.

Dani also "hired" me (for no pay) to run the social media Buffers, which means I spend an hour or two every morning loading Tweets into an app that sends them automatically.

I'm just wrapping up the first draft of Les Fleurs du Malheur; halfway through the final chapter.

And I got an interview with a literary blog (I don't know whose) and Dani wanted me to complete it.

This was a great weekend, too. I marched the Elks Parade, all the way from 20th street to Kelly's, whereupon I jumped out of line and yelled, "Where's my drink??"

The boys came down to play the Blue Rock reunion with Gerry and the Deals, getting rave reviews naturally, both as a band and as my sons because they're so wonderful.

T

A good time was had by all, and I was very proud of myself.

The one great moment of the weekend was when Dale Smallzell Russo informed me she wants to put my name forward for the Drum Corps Hall of Fame. I haven't told Jack. His ego won't handle it. 

As it was, Don and Cherie were East for the reunion, and the sibling rivalry was stinking up the whole weekend form me. Don is such a prick. See me sleeping on the pool lounge? Don had a suite but didn't want me sleeping in there after the parade or during the concert. This from the guy who thought he'd sleep on our floor on our honeymoon.

It was still a stellar weekend. 

Did I Make a Mistake?

 I gave eSpec Books Esprit de Corpse. To be paid, I have to wait for Kickstarter campaigns and sales.

I had hoped for a major publisher to buy it, but I grabbed the first offer.

Yesterday, I finally got an acceptance from a query to a major publisher, Undertow Books, and I had to withdraw.

I hope I haven't made a huge mistake sticking with Dani.

On another front, I'm ten chapters into the third book, and I have no tension, and no idea what the story actually is.

What a Week

It's been a flurry of writing official blogs and editing the website, preparing manuscripts for critique, and continuing the writing.

In the midst of it all, I get a thrombosed hemorrhoid. Eight days of absolute pain, followed by another five days of pain and bleeding after having the thing opened.

You know it's not good when the doctor AND his assistant both say, "Oh, yeah. Oh, you poor thing."

And yup, sitting to write HURTS.

But so does walking around and standing up. Also, I don't like wearing pads for any reason, much less bleeding from genitals again.

So here's an adorable picture of the grands!
 

Only 45 Years

Only 45 years since I wrote my first novel, which went nowhere.

Today, I sold Esprit de Corpse. I am over the moon. I contracted with eSpec Books, with Dani and Mike McPhail who are wonderful.

So I built a new blogspot and a new website with my own domain name.

I just can't believe it took me this long to accomplish part 2 of my dream. Part 1 was publishing in F&SF.

I just cannot wait to see this through!

Heigh Ho

 I've been writing up a storm on the sequel to Esprit de Corpse, already 7 chapters in of a planned 20. I should say target goal of twenty -- I never plan anything. But I'm averaging 3000 words a day on it, so if I keep this up, I'll be done in a month or two.

Still no feedback from any of the agents I've queried.

Mitch McConnell, the slimeball, has announced he'll endorse 45 for candidacy for 2024--this after denouncing him as being singularly responsible for the insurrection of Jan. 6 and the deaths and injuries incurred by the Capitol police. There are actually still Republican governors, senators, and representatives who believe Biden somehow stole the election with fraudulent votes, even though their own positions were voted in on the same ballots. I cannot believe how stupid people are. Marjorie Taylor Greene, sui-disant-Christian lizard, says, "Follow the science. There are only two genders." Science says that's not true. Rand Paul, the moron, told Levine, a transgender at the head of HHS, transgender surgery is the same as genital mutilation, which the UN has denounced as a crime against humanity. And today, at the CPAC, the GOP rolled a gold statue of 45 through the halls, dressed in flag boxers and boxing gloves. I simply cannot tolerate stupidity and ignorance.

Lindsay tells us that Leighton will be seeing a speech pathologist to discover why Leighton doesn't use words yet. He's 18 months old. Winnie used to say that Jack didn't start talking until he was 3. He just pointed and his brothers fetched for him. There's no doubt the kid is brilliant. So we'll see.

We finally got the broken kitchen faucet fixed, and I'm unhappy. Once again, Jack didn't bother to check with me for details; and while it's a top-of-the-line Kohler, it's also a polished chrome finish that doesn't match anything in my brushed nickel kitchen. I'll just have to let it get dirty, I guess.

Two days ago, the temperatures climbed to near 60, so I called for a happy hour. We got to see all the immediate neighbors and spent an hour chatting, watching a nearly full moon rise, let the kids splash in the puddles of melted snow, and caught up on the news. It was a fabulous experience to talk to people again!

I had bloodwork done yesterday, and my blood sugar came back at 163. I simply can't see how it can be so out of control considering I'm on this sugar-free diet. I get a liver scan next week; maybe that will reveal something. Maybe they'll figure out why I can't lose any more weight.

Meanwhile, I also got an appointment for my right hand, middle finger. Last year in Jamaica, I caught my first two fingers in a folding chair, and while they sort of bent, the x-rays showed no breaks or damage. Now, a year later, I've lost all strength and flexibility in the middle finger, and it hurts like blazes.

Might be nice to know why my fingernails are falling apart too! I'll ask Donna.

Presidents Day

I got the test, and it came back negative, but I was sick for ten days with fever and hives. Still, all better now, as they say. 

Meanwhile, I saw the pulmonologist and he prescribed me Lunesta so I could get some sleep. I've used it for 3 nights now, and I don't see any improvement. 

The 💩's impeachment trial went as predicted. Moscow Mitch led the Republican Senators to vote not guilty and he got off. Afterwards, he then got up and said 45 was guilty as hell. Nice to have it both ways, eh? Still, they can now start criminal proceedings against him.

I  made the most incredible Valentine dinner of a butterflied lamb leg, with garlic, olive oil, and rosemary past. Incredibly too I got totally blitzed on just a bottle of wine. I used to drink two or three on my own in the days before cancer! Serves me right, but it was a rosé d'Anjou, and it was AMAZEBALLS!

Today, Jack and I got our Fauci Ouchie #1. What a maze to get through to the whole thing. Park here, walk a half-mile over there, to walk another quarter mile through there, then down that way, through here, and all the back out again. But it's done, and we go back for #2 the first of March. 

We had a wonderful visit with Jesse, Liz, and Eliana last week. We danced, played with blocks, water-pad painted, and sang songs together. She's growing so fast!

Meanwhile, Leighton rarely crawls now, and he has such a mechanical mind he's figured out how to manipulate his toys and pieces of furniture to get into all kinds of naughtiness! He's just adorable.

I sent off to a Donald Maass agent; have to wait 4-6 weeks. Meanwhile, I'm doing tons of research for the next book, Femmes Fatales, about a vampire that Dumas or Hugo wrote about (I forget which, I think Dumas--Oh, how I love cancer brain when I can't remember things on the spur of the moment) as well as assassination attempts on the king when he visits Bellesfées.

Poor Moonlight's hips no long work. She hasn't been able to stand up by herself at all today. Jack refuses to consider putting her to sleep, even though she is clearly in pain. I remind him how painful my arthritis is and that he's putting her through worse. He just can't face it. 

Isn't she a cutie?

Shoot

 Aaaand... today a fever, more chills and aches, and heavy mouth breathing. Damn, if this is COVID, I will be pissed.

Ef Cancer

 Today is a brutal Tamoxifen day. I got a decent amount of sleep (7 hours out of 9 in bed), but I couldn't get up from the bed, and when I did, I couldn't move my arms and I was freezing. I've spent today bundled and under a blanket, reading. To no avail. I ache all over from the cold and from tensing up under the cold.

This too shall pass...in nine years.

Thank Heaven

 

Joe Biden and Kamala Harris were sworn in juts before noon today. Thank heaven! I went outside and played God Bless America and America.

The Revolution Was Televised

January 6, 2020, will go down in history as the day President Trump attempted a coup d'état through his followers. He held a rally while the Congress was convened to certify the electoral college votes. He kept insisting that the election was stolen, that thousands of fraudulent votes were cast, and that his followers should not accept what was happening and should show strength, march down Pennsylvania Avenue to the Capitol, and stop the attack on democracy. That's what they did. Thousands marched, and about a thousand stormed the Capitol building, demolished the windows and sauntered in to pillage the chambers and offices. They had riot gear, and they maced police officers along the way. They were armed with assault weaponry. In the midst of it all, the White House rejected the Pentagon's and DOD's calls for the National Guard. Meanwhile, some of the LEOs allowed the barricades to be opened, opened doors for the insurrectionists, and stood by taking selfies with them. The nation pleaded for more defense, and the White House refused. Shots were fired, and a crazy USAF vet was shot in the chest as she attempted to break in. She died. 4 others died as well, from medical issues like stroke or heart attack during the mayhem.

I watched the scene unfurl in shock and disbelief, much like the hopelessness and anger I felt on 9/11. The President repeated his lies about the fraudulent election, having the election stolen from him, "You know it, and they know it," and he told the insurrectionists, "We love you, we are proud of you. I know where you're coming from."

FOX News was quick to say that the vague left or liberals were hypocritical to complain about the violence given the events of the BLM protests, which is incredibly disingenuous and ironic given the violence against the peaceful demonstrators. If this had been a black mob, they'd have been mowed down. FOX News was also quick to point out that these protesters were probably disguised "antifa Fascists" -- no, don't try to figure that out; that's just how stupid they are. Hard to accept such an accusation when the insurrectionists filmed themselves proudly shouting that this was a revolution and they were taking back their country.

My questions are legion. The rally was announced well in advance, and the social media posts of the right-wing stupids (as in, not all right-wing) clearly indicated they would be armed for bear and that they planned a revolt. They debarked from their buses in riot gear and armed with assault weaponry and blast shields. How could the Capitol have been so vulnerable to their siege? The police in charge of the Capitol or the area in front of it or the parks around it (those are three separate forces) allow this to take place? I will allow that they didn't want blood shed on the steps of the Capitol, but once the doors were breached and the windows smashed, at that point it was clearly insurrection and guns should have been blazing, even if they were just rubber bullets, as in Philly and as in DC at the BLM protests. But most cogently, why is the President not immediately held accountable for his role in inciting them and encouraging them? And finally, why is the 25th Amendment not invoked, as he clearly is bonkers for believing all the ridiculous disinformation he spouts?

It's a sick, sick, sick time in America.