FML

I started this blog to cope with the huge depression I fell into in 2011, discovering Jack's affair.

We've had 6 years of peace.

So what do I find tonight? Evidence that's he's been calling and emailing her again, beginning at least last spring, but no doubt before that.

I don't know what to do.

The funny thing is that JUST LAST NIGHT I was spooning him, thinking how grateful I was that he had chosen to stay with me.

And tonight, he surprised me by making a gourmet dinner. It was love, love, love. We sat outside and reflected on how much we love our life.

What was I thinking?

I could file for Social Security to get my other pension, and find myself a cheap cheap place to live in North Carolina.  I could move to France. I think. If the dollar is strong enough, I might cash in my CD and buy a place there.

Or I can do what Granny Deal did: kick him out of the bed. It's not like we use it for anything other than sleep.

I feel so sick now. The trite phrase "impotent rage" gets new vigor.