I cannot believe that when I told him I found his emails to her, he said, "Where? What emails?"

Which I take to mean, "Shit, what did I forget to delete?"

"Pictures of lottery tickets. What did those numbers mean, anyway? 'Hello, gorgeous! I love you so much! Love you always.' 'I'll be busy with the family on Easter. I'll call you at 6:30.'"

"I'm sorry I lied, but there's nothing going on. You look at those emails again, you go ahead and search. I'm not trying to get together with her, there's nothing romantic going on."

"Shut up."

"Fine."

Yes, he's angry at me for finding out he had re-upped his affair after swearing he would not talk with her again, and after telling me his computer and phone were open for me to inspect. He's angry at me because he just had to have his other woman on the side after I'd told him that cutting off communication with her was the condition of my staying.

So what do I do? Time for the big D? Time for a road trip?

And I have this blog because I don't feel I can tell any of my friends this because they all love Jack a bit more than they do me.

I'll need money. My pension is $2927.12 a month. I could get another thousand if I apply for SS now. Cash in my IRA and get a cheap house in the South somewhere. There are really nice houses in NC for under $100K, and property tax is low. I wonder if I could get a lower price if I handed over cash?

Or in France ... that would do it for me too.